August And Everything After

What do ya say?

2005-10-06T19:25:00.000+13:00

I was at church on Sunday night...standing in the foyer and a guy starts talking to me. A wee while into our conversation another guy comes up and stands beside us waiting to be joined in the conversation. So I sort of stop guy number one and say "hey, I'm Simona" to guy number two. He has tatoos on his face, a tear drop and letters WST or something. But I didn't want to fall for all the stereotypes...I think to myself, you can't know anything about someone by their looks really.

I talk to them for a while..."so what do you do with yourself X?". The reply...well I just got out of jail...WHAT DO YOU SAY?. Whatever you say it sounds stupid...I ended up saying lame stuff like "ah it must be nice to be free"...I can hear you all laughing at me as you read this...it totally caught me by surprise, that is one thing I don't have a prepared answer for...find some common ground Simona find some common ground..."my mum works at the prison"...oh true, which one..........

Anyway...it was pretty funny. Good news is he was SUCH a cool guy. I asked him if he had been there before..."no", what did he think? "It was awesome eh, SO NOT WHAT I EXPECTED OF CHURCH", Will he be back..."DEFINATELY".

Mostly for Shannon and her admirers

2005-09-30T00:18:00.000+12:00

How mental is this...its all over the internet...

(caution: may contain nudity)

click here

If only we were all so special

Are We The First?

2005-09-19T10:24:00.000+12:00

Amazing

2005-09-04T23:20:00.000+12:00

Just got home from church...tonight at church was INCREDIBLE!
All I could think of to say afterwards is church does not get better than that.
I gave a testimony (sorry I know it was secret squirrel, I was too nervous). It went really well.
Visiting preacher, young director of YWAM NZ. He was so amazing. He was gentle and not tricky. EVERYONE was inspired and challenged.

The vast majority of young men in our church threw away the boxes they hide in and knelt at the front. Despite the fact Jay (preacher) didn't make it an easy alter call a lot of people went up to become christians. This was regardless of the fact that the preacher asked for all eyes to stay open and had those who went up stand at the front facing the crowd. He prayed discretely microphone away from mouth.

The presence of God was undeniable. There was no worship service at the end and it ended on the biggest high ever...A God high not drummed up in any way whatsoever.

Church just does not get better than that.

Spot the Difference

2005-08-20T14:27:00.000+12:00

I went to my niece's netball game yesterday. At the end of it I said"what was the final score?". She replied "I don't know" so I told her to go and find out. She said they don't keep score. She also didn't know if she was in the A or the B team. Something has changed since I played friday sport.

Sound Like Brodie to Anyone Else?

2005-08-18T19:45:00.000+12:00

Today I went to my politics class having read (at least most of) the readings assigned for the first time. The lecturer makes us each comment on what we thought of the readings. This time, I understood more than anyone else seemed to. So determined to get my participation marks I commented and answered questions with all kinds of economic jargon. I could just see the lecturer liking me more and more as the class went on. By the end of the class I thought I was pretty fly. So I went into the toilets, stood in a cubicle and danced (whilst verbally congratulating myself). THAT is when I realised that I am insane.

Animals, Intelligence and the Quarter Life Crisis

2005-08-16T12:47:00.000+12:00

Greetings blogosphere.
Well I have had a lot to write about but now I have made my way to this loving computer...it has all gone. Had another goodbye in the last week. Beka from our cell group is off to Japan to teach english...brave girl but she will be great. And we have three new girls...one of whom (for all the Opawa veterans) is Alys Webster. It will be fun.

Had a tutorial today where we got some discussion going about this new theory....basically that our generation experiences (some of us at least) a quarter life crisis. When you think about the people you know you can probably think of some who have experienced this. There are so many choices, so much pressure (or sometimes not enough) and we go straight into uni and then realise about 25 that we don't want to be a lawyer or a psychologist or a teacher. Females can now be things other than teachers and nurses and males don't follow their father's occupation so often anymore...interesting theory...I think that I might buy into this one.

Another interesting discussion...different kinds of intelligence...lots of theories and some really good ideas. We all know that academic intellligence is not all there is to it. One guy talks about experiential intelligence (living and learning from the real world) and also contextual intelligence (knowing how to act in certain situations). When I thought about it I do know of people who are exceptionally good or bad at certain of these types of intelligence. I know one person who is very very intelligent and yet has real difficulty reading what is appropriate to say or do in a particular environment. Additionally we were looking at other theories of intelligence which seek to broaden this semi-useless word. Interesting...musical intelligence, linguistic intelligence, spatial intelligence (knowing what looks good e.g. art etc). There are heaps of them that we just kind of forget about.

One final thing to juice in your mind...me and Sharyn had a discussion on our walk last night which has me thinking (we choose a topic for each walk...it makes us go faster if we talk). Anyway...are human beings more important/valuable than animals? First thought...of course we are. But then I got thinking...We have a different purpose than animals for sure...We are created for a different kind of intimate relationship with God. But does that make us more important? (I'm not talking about vegetarianism here by the way). They fulfill their purpose, do what God created them to do and give God pleasure. So why are we more important? This is coming out more jumbled than it sounded in my mind. Anyway...food for thought (literally in most of our cases). I am leaning towards we are not more important. We are guardians of the earth, yes I believe that but I am not sure we are more important. Perhaps it is like the difference between us and angels (not that I am entirely clear on this either)? Interested to hear your thoughts.

Final comments...I wasted Liam in my speech at his 21st...oh boy...I was on fire....and on another note...I still miss Shannon (but am enjoying the dvd player I bought in my grief).

My Party

2005-08-10T15:42:00.000+12:00

Well I just realised (half way through another post) that I am yet to blog about my party. It went great! Everything was perfect. We weren't exactly organised...when me and Shaun were the only ones setting up at 6.30 (party started at 7) and a couple of helpers arrived at 6.50, the panic was on. When the first guests arrived at 6.54 it was chaos...but after a few reminders to chill out it was ALL good.

The food was good (or so I am told), though my beautiful kebabs were tragically overheated when I handed them over. The foyer was the best place to have it. It worked perfectly for the amount of people I had coming. Nice and intimate. The couches and singstar and the vast majority of the people closest to me made it great. A few people were really missed but there will always be some who can't make it eh!

I never really like parties...and I feel older than 21 so I didn't expect to enjoy it as much as I did. It was so fun and so nice to have so many people I love and like so much in one room. Some new friends some old friends, some funny speeches and altogether a good night...apart from that blimmin picture Sharyn and that American put up everwhere...I tell you if she hadn't left I would have had her deported for that!!!

And the presents...oh the presents...I think the soft soft sheets and the new duvet cover may be contributing to my lack of ability to wake up at the moment...mmmmmn makes me sleepy just thinking about it. The quilt is yet to reach my bed...it likes keeping me warm on the couch too much...I could talk about all the presents for ever...but maybe I should just get thank you notes. Anyway...great 21st. Lots of fun. Thanks for everyones thoughts and prayers and words and attendance.

Goodbyes, My Consumption and War Without Mercy

2005-08-10T15:07:00.000+12:00

Well the blogging has definately been few and far between. Lots has been going on since I last blogged. We have no computer at our new place which makes blogging necesarily intentional. I can't blog when I am bored any longer.

Last week held a couple of difficult goodbyes, a lot of business and a need for incredible amounts of sleep. Life has cooled down a bit (and when I say a bit, I mean only a bit) and routines are slowly working their way back. I am back at Elim properly, feeling motivated to get back into it and take my faith more actively. I have been thinking LOTS about all kinds of things and trying to finish each book before I begin the next. I have a cold and no job (which creates issues but God has looked after me heaps, each time I get close to the bottom line more money appears. He is faithful even when we are not).

I miss my bro and Shannon heaps and am hoping I will get used to it soon. After the second goodbye I thought I would treat myself so I went and bought 2 books: The kids book 'The Half Men of O' and 'Nicolas and Micah Sparks: 3 weeks with my brother' by the guy who wrote the Notebook. Me and Shaz also bought a whole bag full of books for $4 from the second hand christian bookstore. And yet it was not enough...more books than I can read in a year but still I feel the need for a treat...I love movies I really LOVE movies and we had nothing to watch movies on at home, so I went and bought a video/dvd player combo. I hired out 5 videos on the way home and I escaped into the world of the dvd......"mmmmmn that's better" I thought.

One of the videos we watched was farenheit 9-11. I found it disturbing. I raved about the (also disturbing) documentary Bowling for Columbine but I would not rave the same about this. Maybe I have read or seen too much between watching the first and second movies but it seemed, this time, such blatent propagana. I know that there has been far more propaganda on the more powerful side and therefore I guess we need someone strongly towing this line but I thought it took away some of the integrity I held to Michael Moore. I was tired when I watched it so maybe I should give it another go.

One of the things that annoyed me was that they gave me no choice about what I wanted to see. I am one who doesn't need to be disturbed anymore but there is no warning of what will happen. One minute the screen shows a home in America, then it cuts to a dead Iraqi child held right infront of your face. I don't mind looking away. Usually you have some idea when things could go bad and you can not watch for a bit. But it seemed like they did it on purpose, took away my right not to look. I know people need to be shocked. I agree, but I don't want to lose all faith in humanity. I AM shocked, I AM disgusted about so many things and I don't need to be backed into a corner for that to happen.

We also watched a dvd (from uni) called brothers and others. It was about the backlash against people who appeared Arabic or Muslim following the 9/11 attacks. About the unfair arrests and deporting of people, about lives that were absolutely ruined for no crime other than to have been born in another country or to have married someone from another country or to speak against war. All I could say through the whole movie was, "that sucks" "that totally sucks". I thought it was really really well done. Sad and scary: made me afraid of where state control will go. Made me think back to those high school lessons about the cold war and "reds under the bed". Have we learnt at all?

I saw a thing on the wall at uni today about the depleted uranium used in bombs in the gulf war, Kosovo, Bosnia, probably Afghanastan and this latest Iraq 'war'. Britain and the USA used depleted uranium because of its superior strength. It goes through walls and armour and burns severely upon hitting the target. The remainder sinks into the soil and water system. The problem (well one problem among many) is that it emits radiation and it causes cancer and illness to a horrible extent. Children have been effected especially badly. In Iraq since the gulf war the incidence of child cancer has sky rocketed. Both children's hospitals in Baghdad have had to build extra wings for children with luekemia following the Gulf War. There is not enough medicine. The US army left 300 tonnes of depleted uranium in Iraq after the gulf war. It emits 14,000 to 36,000 times the radiation emitted from the bomb at Hiroshima. What are we doing? How does all this stuff happen without us even knowing. How can people do this and still look in the mirror each day and think they are a good person. There are pictures on the wall of the library of the kids who have been effected by this. Some are recovering, some are dying, some are in terrible pain. Some of the kids smile at the camera, others are crying and some will no longer be alive...

Many haunt my mind even when I have walked away.

Everything's Black and White.... (and grey)

2005-07-19T11:35:00.000+12:00

Well it certainly has been a while.
Motivation has been a little lacking, time a little short.
I went flatting on Sunday. I really love the place....the flatmates are alright too...a bit on the smelly side but they will do. Had heaps of visiters on Sunday which was nice and made it feel like home. I thought it would be a lot more sad leaving home than it was in reality. I have my first movie date with mum tonight (I suspect we may see more of each other now than when I lived there).

My 21st is coming up...its organised very late so could be rather a small affair. But it means that Adam (my one and only brother) and Shannon (George W) and maybe a friend from cell group can all come before they abandon me for greener pastures ;). It is a lot to organise...but it should be fun. Some of the invitations didnt arrive at peoples houses...so it may be even smaller...but there will be singstar and food and that's all I require...And your company of course...which reminds me...you are all invited. (Not the whole internet but this little blogging community we have going).

here is your virtual invitation....

nb: the back of it reads: dress comfy (however you define that), rsvp to 3483111 or smm135@student.canterbury.ac.nz, alcohol free venue and it is the corner of wilsons road and hasting st east.

Well time for some more in depth thought eh.
Shall I do a confession time? why not?

truth is I do not want to go to church at the moment...well its not really that I dont want to go . I dont want to belong to one. I want to have good times with God and to read my bible. I want to hang out with my Christian friends, I want to do some 'Christian things' but I just so don't want to go to church each Sunday. I don't really know why. I feel kind of bad about it.

There is a new girl in my cell group (which I also love) and she is a new Christian. She said a big turning point in her view of Christians was when she read a book and it said Christians DON'T go to church because they have to or to avoid guilt but because they want to. How challenging was that for me at the moment?!

Maybe part of it is that I don't like pressure and I have to speak soon (I have put it off a lot), maybe it is because at some point you have to stop just taking from your church and give something back. Or maybe it is because I crave the anonymity of not belonging to a church. Maybe it's because I miss the old crew but don't feel like God wants me back at the old places (even if I want to sometimes). I am not short of ideas, just conclusions.

I value community, I value aided worship. I know that the best of my worship often takes place within the confines of a church building. I know that being prayed for by friends is a powerful thing. I know that being challenged is a good thing. I know that I don't challenge myself nearly enough.

And it makes me explore what church is...is it a community like some people say?...I have community with my christian friends. Does that give me an out? Or is church more than that? When they met in Acts it does seem like a community but also something more...big things happened. I value church as a community but maybe it is also an aid to connecting with God...it seems that way to me. What is biblical? What is culture? What really is important? Why is church hopping bad if you already have a community? Mentors?

I feel like I know the right answer, that belonging to a church IS important...I just wish I knew why. And I wish I wanted it right now.

Rwanda or Something Like it

2005-06-30T22:29:00.000+12:00

I went to see Hotel Rwanda tonight...

It was an incredibly powerful movie. The fact it was true made it even more so. I have never before been in a movie where the credits rolled and you could hear people sobbing. I spent half the movie trying to stop my chest from heaving and the tears from actually leaving my eyes. It wasn't a horror movie (or at least that was not its genre) and yet I don't remember being so scared in a movie before.

Why do we all standby and let this happen, things like this. Paul (the Hutu hero) said that he was pleased that they had footage of one of the massacres because the west would do something...the photographer replied that he thought they would probably see it on tv, say oh my goodness that is terrible and then go back to eating their dinner...and it is so true, that is what we do! Those people were waiting for the west to intervene or at least protect them, but what did we do? well we got the white people out of there. We allowed 1 million people to be murdered in the most savage ways. The actions in that place only ten years ago are so incredibly horriffic...it WILL happen again! And what will we do? Well we will get our people out. We were their hope, they EXPECTED help and it never came. I wonder if that would have happened if it was Australians that were being killed. Actually I don't have to wonder do I?

The most powerful quote I found was this (from a disillusioned UN worker to Paul) "You are dirt to us (the west), You're not even a nigger, you're an African". Doesnt it feel/look like that sometimes. We let these people starve to death, children are murdered, orphaned, ordinary people are forced to become heros..because no-one else will be. A red cross worker was distraught because she knew no country would take 20 Rwandan orphans...they would have to stay there for the murderers to come. WHY couldn't we take them? For goodness sake, we have so much space, we have so much spare money (comparitively) but why would we give up on a couple of nights out a week for someone who is "not even a nigger"? We watch them die and then we go back and eat our dinner. Why should we not keep storing up luxuries? How about because we had a responsibility to help, to give up a little to save a lot. Tonight I feel sick at the sins of omission carried out by me and my people.

Did you know that the Hutus and Tutsis are actually the same people...They were colonised, by the Beligian I believe. They took aside the taller, lighter skinned Hutus with the more narrow noses. They told them they are called Tutsis and they were treated differently, they helped the colonisers, they oppressed the Hutu. I understand why they did, they should take little blame. The massacre of the early nineties was the Hutu revenge. They waited for the west. The west never came, tutsis finally pushed the Hutus into the Congo after they had killed almost a million people. Children not only lost their lives, their parents, they lost their innocence. Pauls son for example will never be a child again. And yet we stand by and watch this all over the world. I think the most painful thing was the fact that they were waiting for us. They thought there was no way people could see what was going on there and do nothing, but that is exactly what we did. What we always do.

This blog should not be entirely depressing as not only was I shocked and ashamed...I was amazed and inspired by the courage of ordinary people. Of the redcross worker, the UN people, of the men and women who protected children who were not even their own. All of these people will never ever lose the pictures of what they saw and felt. Most of all I guess Paul was the one who blew me away. He risked his life SO many times to save people both Hutu and Tutsi. He saved 1268 people through shear courage, unbelievable courage. And cunning. It is amazing what people can survive and the possible moral brilliance of an ordinary man placed in extraordinary circumstances. I feel concerned, I feel inspired and finally I feel READY to try to make a difference with my life.

More McDonalds for My Brain

2005-06-25T10:38:00.000+12:00

I had a REALLY bad day at work the other day...
I was still feeling terrible about it...My boss (soon to be ex-boss) was, I think, as horrible to me as anyone has ever been. I cried infront of him (a nasty nasty butcher), his response was to swear at me...He was mean mean mean for like 45 mins straight. He fired me about three times then said he would see me on wednesday. I was torturing myself by imagining all my workmates laughing about it (why do people do that to themselves???),

Anyway then I got a text from my workmate Cate. She is like 20 years older than me but we click so well. I like her heaps...she said
"Hey Ribena (work nickname)! I am so sorry X was such a (insert very bad word here ) to you. He had a go at me today and I quit. Amy was sorry for you too but she didnt feel she should ring you. Hope you are ok"

Man what a warm fuzzy I have...it was almost worth the first incident. It's funny how much people can make things so much better...just with words. Made me think of the power of words...the boss' words induced hysterical crying (dont worry, not infront of him...my eyes just leaked until i left) and yet Cate's words made me feel loved and stoked on people. Truthfully, in the long run, I think hers had more power.

food for thought anyway.

footnotes
1. as an added bonus isnt it sometimes so nice to have non-christian friends who can name call someone exactly what you want to???And not feel bad about it?!

2. Amy is also an awesome lady

3. Anyone know of any jobs going?

The Wailing Wall dedicated to 'Sir Iain' ahahahaha

2005-06-17T10:54:00.000+12:00

Well I will post about the rest of this trip when I am at uni so that I can stick some photos on...might pop one on here as well...

The wailing wall is like this...
You walk through narrow (classic Israeli) streets to get there. It is strange because on the way to such an amazing place you can walk past buildings covered in bullet holes..it's really sad. There are orthodox Jews all over the place around that area. So it doesn't exactly look like New Zealand. There are narrow unpaved streets, really long curly sideburns, stone walls and skull caps.

Anyway so when I reached the entrance the guy goes "what religion are you?"..."we are Christians" . "That's ok, Christians are ok, Muslims not ok" says the guy. When you go in there are 6 massive gold stars on the top of a tall building, each one stands for a million Jews killed in the Nazi occupation in Europe.

It's weird because I totally expected the wailing wall to be all out on it's own but the thing is it's a Muslim holy place too. So actually at the top of the wailing wall there is a great big mosque. The sounds are weird because near you you can hear Jews praying, pleading, chanting, wailing but over it all is the mosque speakers "come to Allah come to Allah". Neither of these are in a language that you understand. Muslims control the temple mount...the wailing wall was the retaining wall for that.

The wall is massive and there is a tunnel down one end. Only men can enter there...it holds scriptures I think. Men have to put a cardboard skull cap on. It is an amazing place..covered in people and yet so barren. It is such a place of prayer and history. It kind of feels like people leave there hopes there. There are pieces of paper covered in prayer stuck in all the wee gaps between the stones. The sound of prayer is amazing, their faces are so close to the stone. Almost everyone wears black and white, skull caps and hats, it's like stepping back in time in a way.

Some of the stones are so big..the biggest one weighs more than 50x theweight of the largest stone in the pyramids.

I really wish I had have understood more the significance of this place as well as others I saw...but being 12 it was only the places I had heard about the most which I understood on a deeper level really...I will do a post briefly talking about them later...what is left of the garden of gethsemane, Golgotha, Bethlehem, David's Tomb, the room suspected to be the upper room...the jordan river...the list goes on...

My Worry List

2005-06-16T14:30:00.000+12:00

Last night I wrote out a worry list...it had 9 items on it. The object was to pray about each...I am going to write the answers on the back of the page as each one gets answered. (It has a plan for a painting drawn on the bottom) This morning I got 2 phone calls and a text...3 answers. 2 of them before I even got out of bed.

The Tickets Have Arrived...This One is Dave Dobbyn

2005-06-15T14:09:00.000+12:00

There's a black blue front - stole the west horizon
Under ocean song hear the tolling bell
On the seventh wave rides my aspirations
They will break- for sure- all my dreams to tell

It dawned on me-
It dawned on me-
It just dawned on me
This must be what your heart reveals

Blood red bloom- pohutukawa
The black dunes hiss with the grasses' breath
I'll gather my driftwood and light a beacon
It's for you I cry- It's for you I burn

It dawned on me-
It dawned on me- It just dawned on me
This must be what your heart reveals

And hey it just dawned on me for the first time
This must be what your heart reveals
It dawned on me-
It just dawned on me-
And it dawned on me
This must be what your heart reveals

Serious Post 3a

2005-06-14T16:23:00.000+12:00

Well , here I am procrastinating again...

Dave Dobbyn tickets are all booked and so is accommodation so I can't wait. I love Kaikoura, but Dave Dobbyn playing in Kaikoura and us staying in a backpackers with 2 spas and a pool and a free continental breakfast...That's what I'm talking about.

On Thursday I am meeting the girl I was looking for at the start of this blog for a coffee...it's so crazy and yet so cool. I was really surprised when I got her email. I am excited...But really nervous. It's been a long time...Lots has changed.

Watched a video of one of my soci lectures yesterday and got reminded of a fact that shocked me both the first and second times I heard it. ..We hear so often that at least 6million Jews were killed during the Nazi regime...Yes that is a massive number, incomprehensibly big. But when you take into account that there were only 9million Jews in Europe at the time it is just insane. 2 3rds of all European Jews were killed. That is one and half times the entire population of New Zealand. Of the 3million who survived, the vast majority lived in unoccupied areas...So they were very nearly successful in exterminating these people. I never knew how close they came! How did it happen, I mean I kind of do know but its still just unbelievable. It is so sad. When I was younger it seemed so long ago...It was history after all. When I went to the wailing wall as a twelve year old and I heard that maybe more than 6million people died, it was sad but it still felt so distant. Now I get a little older, hopefully a little wiser and I am just beginning to realise how recent lots of this history was. Things which seem to be in the past, are still so raw...and I think they have the right to be.

Informercials and Other Completely Unrelated topics

2005-06-13T12:25:00.000+12:00

Why are info-mercials so compelling?...
they are incredibly boring and yet you can't leave the TV just to change out of your pyjamas...
why, even though I in no way need a little giant ladder do I now feel the incredible urge to buy one...
don't get me started on gunners workout package with free medicine ball and an extra video with scantily clad female for free...
only if I call within the next 40 minutes though...oh the panic.

On other tangents...

apologies to Allan for my arrogant comment "I know very well what it sounds like when Jesus talks to me"...Not always I don't, sometimes (like anyone I am sure) I lack clarity. However, I think I usually know when he is NOT talking to me...that is what I meant. And I sounded arrogant and conceited...

Also, we are off to the Dave Dobbyn concert it seems. staying in the nicest backpackers
check it out...woohoo

Went to see Brodie play soccer for the first time...how cute is this...

Brodie is the one in the Blue hat with the dark blue band...
Renzo has the ball I believe.

Brodie on far left, Will, ????, Renzo.

here is a poem (seeing as everyone jumped on my joke bandwagon, I shall leap onto this one)...

It's been three years I think, since I floated away.
I wonder how long it was before you noticed.

I heard about what happened, I tried to squeeze my eyes shut,
but my tears broke through in spite of me.

Just like when you carried my sack of coal,
I cried for you for days.

Then yesterday i met you for the first time.
It was different but i was unchanged.

At least that is how i felt. The same.
I wonder how long this time, before I dissipate?

how long before you notice?

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2005-06-09T19:05:00.000+12:00

And so he's back from outa space...

Dave Dobbyn Off the Beaten Track Tour

who is in? come on people, I want numbers and I want them fast...I reckon Kaikoura and if we can't go then, Akaroa. Its so so cool, he is not going to any main centres just playing at community halls etc. Man it will be so incredible. I love it. Imagine...Dave Dobbyn playing in Kaikoura! I am severely excited.

Recent Driving Revelations

2005-06-09T12:19:00.000+12:00

1) I drove over to Spreydon today with a coffee in my hand...i came to the conclusion that it would be very difficult to drive with one arm and no power steering

2) Some people drive incredibly slowly around roundabouts or corners... your car is not going to tip over! (sometimes I even yell it at them...even though they can't hear me...what anger problem?... I don't know what you are talking about)

3) When your car is getting louder and louder...there is a good chance your exhaust pipe has fallen off (not entirely...it was just hanging on).

4) Chances are a funny noise in your wheel doesnt mean it's about to fall off...maybe there is just something stuck there

anyway on another note...in the past just over a week I have met 4 really really awesome new people. I love it when God does stuff like that...hope in humanity at a high point.

What a Weekend

2005-06-07T19:47:00.000+12:00

Got back from Purau yesterday, what an awesome weekend...lots of fun, food, games, walks, cool people. I had such a good time! I have not laughed that hard for a long time. I stole Shannon's photos...hope she doesn't mind ;)

discovered some boats...

played lots of games...(very serious business)

and an awesome setting...

couldn't have been better!

Did You Know?????

2005-06-02T16:22:00.000+12:00

Allan Hawkins was a white collar criminal in NZ, who was proven to have stolen $88million dollars and probably stole closer to $500million. His actions are estimated to have seriously affected half a million people. Hawkins spent 2.5 years in jail for his crime. Even just on his proven takings that works out to well over 35 million dollars per year on top of his elite business person salary. Kind of worth the risk don't you think?

World on Fire

2005-05-30T16:34:00.000+12:00

Just a quick add on. I watched the video which Amy has linked to and it very nearly made me cry. I think Sharyn has linked to it too and I am going to join the club purely so as many people as possible will watch it. Do, it makes you think.

Life in the Fast Lane (or some equally unrelated title)

2005-05-30T16:03:00.000+12:00

Well it has been a while eh!
I have been far too busy. Busier than is healthy I believe!
First I wrote my two thousand word essay (which is really closer to two and a half) and then I wrote my three thousand word one (which is 3884 words I believe), who ever knew it was so easy to write such copius amounts? Now I should really start on my 8 page report for the worst paper I have ever done...except maybe philosophy...(So how do you KNOW you really exist? what if an evil demon is tricking you...well one would think that if one had one's mind in one's own control then one would know that one exists by the mere fact that one thinks.....).

The sad fact is after all this I am hardly any less busy...but now I am sick so I feel like I have an excuse to blog instead of work.

I have spent the last few months trying on every pair of jeans in Christchurch...honestly I must have tried on at least 50 pairs in total, glassons, just jeans, levis, jeans west, jay-jays you name it I have done it. but to no avail. I remember trying on jeans about a year and a half ago...and they all looked good. I have come to the sad conclusion that this is not just because styles have changed... that if I want jeans to look good on me, I have to lose some weight...not because I think I am super huge but because I put all my weight on my belly...and when you have a belly like john candy and legs like calista flockart jeans just aren't going to look that great...deep eh. And talk about intelligence. I will understand if everyone is too intimidated by my philosophical arguments that they can't comment...

Anyway, so on another level...
We used to have a cell group...run by James and Elizabeth Brown and it ended one year and it didn't come back into being. Not through anyone's fault but through people getting involved in their own churches and circumstances changing as is natural. So anyway, because it never officially ended, I am wondering today if Elizabeth and James really know how much everyone appreciated it. See people talk about good things but never (or hardly ever) to the people who should hear it. So many times we talked about how great it was to have such a community, to have such awesome mentors running that group, to have people putting in so much effort so we could learn and grow in God. there was no hype in that group - there was a system where we saw what mature Christianity could be, what we ourselves could aspire to. So this I guess is just a really belated thank you! And a sorry we didn't say it earlier.

HERE'S JOHNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-05-26T11:36:00.000+12:00

Sharyn and I were on our way up the loft (computer bay) a few minutes ago...now as happens quite often in elevator savvy institutions we rounded the corner to catch the lift only to find the door was closing. Sharyn musters up her energy and runs towards the lift (I didn't want the lift that bad, not bad enough to run...have you SEEN me run????). So anyway, I expect to find her calmly pressing the up button and waiting for the doors to reopen automatically. I would consider this the usual response. But as I edge closer to the lifts, my worst fears are realised. Sharyn was standing in front of the elevator doors using all her strength to try to hold them open with her bare hands ahahahahaha. The poor fella in the lift must have thought he was really in trouble!!

Come ON Patty-Cake, what are you on?

2005-05-25T15:13:00.000+12:00

“The feminist agenda is
not about equal rights for
women. It is a socialist,
anti-family political
movement that
encourages women to
leave their husbands, kill
their children, practice
witchcraft, destroy
capitalism and become
lesbians”
– (Pat Robertson, 1995, in
Stacey, 1996: 1).

This guy either needs to get on drugs or off of them! I don't know how much I need to say...I would like to hear your comments. I mean what on earth? Is it just me or is this a fairly illogical conclusion. Watch out for those lesbian child killing witches people...they are everywhere. But that is not their worst sin...the scary thing is they are willing to destroy capitalism...watch out everyone, beware!... Mind you they are probably in Iraq or Afganistan anyway.

A Body is Made Up of Many Parts

2005-05-21T13:32:00.000+12:00

Firstly,
Went to Opawa last night for your concert. Just wanted to say it was really cool. Seems like things are really moving on up there. Music, New faces, Coffee machine...was a good night! Congrats to Steve, to Lynne, to Amy, to Jason (who I have not met) and to the church (as in people) as a whole. I am happy for you. Amy and Kaleb sounded really really good! You guys just get better and better!

My next point is so entirely unrelated but I am trying to only blog once a day!
I need some kind of page break lol!

division...
lots of people who know me know this is something that really gets to me. First it was Christians vs jews, then christians vs muslims, then catholics vs church of England, then lutherism....and on and on it goes. Will it ever end? The other night, when two people were discussing someone who person A was attracted to, person B commented "he is not a pentecostal". Come on people! Its getting to be ridiculous! By fighting amongst ourselves we limit our potential in God. To use a cheesy americanism united we stand, divided we fall.

Catholics, baptists, New lifers, anglicans...they are ALL CHRISTIANS. They all believe that Jesus died for our sins, that to know him is the way to salvation. To believe in your heart and confess with your tongue. People do things differently, they do - but if it is all to glorify God then what is the problem!?! If we intend to impact his world then we have to look for the similarities not the differences and work together! With the number of Christians there are, we could be a force to be reckoned with (in a 100% pacifist way) if only we would get over ourselves.

Is Ephesians 4 not clear enough for us?...

2Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love. 3Always keep yourselves united in the Holy Spirit, and bind yourselves together with peace.
4We are all one body, we have the same Spirit, and we have all been called to the same glorious future. 5There is only one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6and there is only one God and Father, who is over us all and in us all and living through us all. 7However, he has given each one of us a special gift according to the generosity of Christ....
11He is the one who gave these gifts to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers. 12Their responsibility is to equip God's people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ, 13until we come to such unity in our faith and knowledge of God's Son that we will be mature and full grown in the Lord, measuring up to the full stature of Christ.
14Then we will no longer be like children, forever changing our minds about what we believe because someone has told us something different or because someone has cleverly lied to us and made the lie sound like the truth. 15Instead, we will hold to the truth in love, becoming more and more in every way like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. 16Under his direction, the whole body is fitted together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.

I know this is really long but just bear with me...I heard someone once say that with reference to this passage we are all cells in this body, when we attack another Christian or another church we simply become one cell turning on another. In our time, you all know what this is called...its CANCER. We don't want to be that. We don't want people not coming into our church because they are afraid people will think that their Catholic family are not Christians or for people not to meet God in a Catholic church because the priest talks about how great it is that some teenager has left the dirty old Baptists and realised the truth...

Anyway, you get my point. I will leave you with a quote form C.S. Lewis which has spoken to me a lot...

"It takes all sorts to make a world; or a church. This may be even truer of a church. If grace perfects nature it must expand all our natures into the full richness of the diversity which God intended when he made them, and heaven will display far more variety than hell. "One Fold" doesn't mean "one pool". Cultivated roses and daffoldils are no more alike than wild roses and daffodils".

Letters to Malcom, C.S. Lewis (p.19)

Those Street Kids Got Me Thinking...

2005-05-19T11:45:00.000+12:00

I am writing an essay at the moment comparing Brazillian street kids with western teenagers. It has got me thinking (partly about Maslow's hierarchy of needs). The thing is, I keep writing stuff like, 'the reason they have no desire for friendship and do not have friends as such is that all of their energies have to go into just surviving'. The only reason they interact with their peers (usually) is in order to fulfill some physical necessity like having a lookout while they steal food, or protection, or an ally in a fight.

Its that whole idea that you have certain levels of need and unless the basics are fulfilled, you won't move up to bigger things. If you don't have food to eat, then you are going to worry about that first rather than worrying about having a home to sleep in or a friend to be with or someone to love.

Anyway, my point is that if we want people to know God then we need to fulfill their basic needs. If we are seriously saying we want the world to know him then we need to get serious about giving people their most basic needs. If someone spends all their energy trying to find food and shelter so that not even the basic need of friendship is seen as important, then how (other than by God alone) are people supposed to fill their emotional and then their spiritual needs. I know that it does happen. I have heard about the churches in slums and rubbish dumps. But it seems like to go in and preach (which is an incredibly cool thing don't get me wrong) is not enough. The people back in the richest few percent of the world (that's us) need to help too. It is clear in so many places that God can be found in the most dire of circumstances, I just wish we would make it a little bit easier for people.

All For a Piece of Paper

2005-05-18T15:31:00.000+12:00

I am so busy,
My brain is overworked and I have few spare thoughts to let dribble onto this blog.
The bright side is Lynne has new blogs! Woohoo, I have missed them these last few days.
The dark side is all the stuff I have to do! How on earth will I pull it out of the bag this time?

The Age of Technology

2005-05-17T13:34:00.000+12:00

Computers hate me...
I never disliked them really.
But the ones at uni KNOW that I have no money
So they beep loudly in the computer lab (even though the sound is off),
not once but twice! "NO money for internet or printing"
...that beep might as well yell it out over the loud speaker
...everyone knows what it means!!!
How do you create sound on a muted computer anyway!

Then, I finally have money so my first woe is out of the way. I am running late and click on the x...it replies "are you sure...?" but behold, my mouse cord is stuck somewhere...or someone is hiding under the desk opposite giving it a tug...and I can't pull it down far enough to click yes...it makes me mad so I tug and tug until FINALLY if gives...it is only when I am walking out that I realise it was actually stuck around my foot.

(...i'm not stupid)

Cree Indian Saying

2005-05-17T13:33:00.000+12:00

Only when the last tree has died,
The last river been posioned,
The last fish caught,
Will we realise we cannot eat money.

Useless Facts for Sounding Clever...

2005-05-16T22:23:00.000+12:00

No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times.
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
Earth is the only planet not named after a pagan God.
A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning
The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer.

Just to Keep Up Tradition

2005-05-16T22:10:00.000+12:00

Tony was in the hospital, near death.
The family called their preacher to stand with them.
As the preacher stood next to the bed, Tony's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper and Tony used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died.
The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.
At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realizedthat he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Tony died. He said, "You know, Tony handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Tony, I'm sure it's a wonderful message."He opened the note, and read, "Get off my oxygen tube!"

I Must be in Blog Withdrawal

2005-05-16T13:27:00.000+12:00

I have lots to say today...but that felt like a complete post so I shall do another...

As Sharyn said on her blog, I met my husband on Saturday night. Ha ha oh there will be biting, scratching and hair pulling over this! I am just kidding! It was cool though because my problem has always been that I feel like I am never going to be able to really connect with a man enough to marry him. I have not gone from boyfriend to boyfriend and I have not had the usual paranoia that no-one will want me. I just worry that I won't fall in love. But every now and then God shows me that there are male personalities who I could connect with, who I would like to hang out with alone. And it is then, when my paranoia dissappears that I am happy to have the gift of not being infatuated all the time, of being able to relax around men, of being genuinely happy alone. Who knows how long this pleasure will last...I should enjoy it for now me thinks!

Also on the board miss ford... I am starting to get involved at church. I am going to ring all the people that are giving their testimony to check it is all koscha. It is nice to start to feel part of Elim. I really like it there. Infact I love it there. The first time I went it seemed so intimidating but really they are just so normal, normal but extraordinary too. Extraordinary because there are so many people so eager to know God intimately. It is a community for me, a community in which I see aspects of the first churches. Its nice to really believe in your church. Soon I am going to give a testimony there...it is a bit hard though because I don't want to disrespect anyone. Sometimes it is hard to tell your own story without airing someone elses dirty laundry at the same time!

Anyway...enough blogging for now.

one last note...someone said at church last night, God is a God of understatements. He created the universe, everything in it, all the things that amaze us and what did he say...'it's good'. Good! that's it. I mean seriously not even great? God says he has good plans for us - I can't wait to see what he pulls out of the bag for me!

The Infamous Chocolate Bar Conundrum

2005-05-16T13:10:00.000+12:00

Man it has been so long since I have blogged I have almost forgotten how to do it! Apologies to all who witnessed the grumpy post before I deleted it. It was a little juvenile to say the least lol!!!

Well I did not see this trading spouses thing everyone is up in arms about, I am kind of getting used to them always putting crazy Christians on TV. I am sure she had the best of intentions. Ok so your chocolate bar won't run out people! But getting involved in all that stuff outside of God's intentions DOES mess things up for people. It is not an unforgivable sin or anything but I think that God put lots of this kind of thing in place for us simply to protect us. I know lots of people who say they are happy doing whatever they want but they can't even step inside a church because they feel too guilty! If there is nothing wrong with it why do they feel guilty? I thought it was really cool last night when a guy speaking at church talked about how there is no condemnation for believers. It is so true, there is conviction yes, things we know we need to change but guilt - its just another plan to keep us far from God. He is ALWAYS available so you can say sorry and move on....stop looking at the mud, lift your eyes!

Joke Number Two or Just to Keep us Balanced

2005-05-14T14:35:00.000+12:00

A Married couple are in bed (don't worry it is not one of those jokes).
They hear that someone is in the house so they both sit up startled.
A man comes in and he says "what'syour name?", the woman replies "Elizabeth".
The intruder says "That's my mother's name, I can't kill you now I know that".
So he asks the man for his name.
He replies "my name is Robert but everyone calls me Elizabeth"

Tim Tams and Ten Pin Bowling

2005-05-12T19:03:00.000+12:00

Another week is nearly over! Several tim tams eaten, a couple of classes missed (oops). Uni is done for the week. Friday is work day...usually I hate working (in general, not my specific job) but I am not dreading it tommorrow. Makes a nice change. Uni is getting pretty busy so the blogs may soon be few and far between...but then again we all need a little procrastination now and then!

Had cell group last night and went bowling...i managed a grand score of 20 up until the 7th round then came up from behind to get the brilliant score of 37 beating Sharyn by a whisker...that's right she got less than 37 (yes yes Sharyn I know you will beat me severely for telling your secret!). In our defence, I think the others knew that there were marks on the floor to aim for!

I LOVE KIDS

2005-05-11T15:42:00.000+12:00

A lady is standing in the kitchen when her little boy comes up to her.
"Mummy", he says,"your tummy has got really fat".
"That's because I have a wee baby growing in there" she replies.
So with one question answered he adds "What is growing in your bottom then?"

To Jack Johnson R.E: Where'd All the Good People Go?

2005-05-11T15:16:00.000+12:00

People seem to ask this question a lot. I know I do. When you look around sometimes it is easier to see the people you don't agree with than the truly good people within a sea of faces. Where did all the good people go? Well they never left!

Uni, is the last place you would expect to find them...especially not in a lecturers office! But it is here that, in the last couple of days I have become so aware of what a treasure good people really are. Yesterday, I went to a lecturers office, simply to pick up an essay proposal but I ended up there for a good half an hour while she did everything she possibly could to help me out. We had a chat, she picked some good references out of her own collection and I ended up walking out of her office with a new sense of hope. Again today: we had a class about grief and bereavement etc (it is a counselling course) and the lecturer just so obviously cares about people. One girl seemed to still have issues about something and after class the lecturer called her over to have a chat. These people both just want so much to help people and perhaps most importantly they are willing to go out of their way to do that.

So when you ask yourself where all the good people have gone and what they have been doing all this time I think the answer you will find is that they never left. They have been in their usual walks doing...good. The thing I think is sometimes we are so busy looking for someone who made one bad comment or one silly mistake that we miss our opportunity to see something good.

Good people don't get much credit, so if you need anyone to add to your list: Carolyn Morris and Garry Hornby - two people who make their world a little bit better.

Its All A Numbers Game

2005-05-10T22:23:00.000+12:00

Multiply the number of brothers in your family by 2
Add 3
Multiply by 5
Add the number of your sisters
Multiply by 10
Add the number of living grandparentsSubtract 150
The 1st digit of the remainder will be the number of brothers
The 2nd digit is the number of sisters
The 3rd digit will be the number of grandparents

The Kingdom of Heaven

2005-05-10T18:09:00.000+12:00

Went to see Kingdom of Heaven today. If you can stand really really bad violence it is a really good movie. Orlando Bloom is looking his very best and the story is good. I was a bit worried it would be really anti-Christian but it wasn't, it definately showed the wrong on that side but it seemed really balanced eh. What a mess! The things people do in the name of God!

I may have found the address of my old friend all going well! went into my favourite lecturers office today and she had the funeral booklet on her noticeboard. I had forgotten that the girl who died was a post-grad student in this same department. So I asked and the booklet didn't have an address but the lecturer emailed her friend who was in all her classes, she explained and asked for a contact address for the family. So here is hoping!

This happened AFTER i decided it was up to God, I told him that if I am not going to find her and never get her address then I know that is the best thing. It was up to him. I find that this happens quite often, its only when you let it go that God knows you are ready to have what you desire.

All going well I will soon have the address, I will send my letter and maybe I will get a reply or maybe I won't. It doesn't really matter, that's not what this was about. I just wanted her to know.

Mutterings From a Catholic Protestant

2005-05-09T21:38:00.000+12:00

And so another week begins eh!
Well I just finished the best bath ever, with the water filled to overflowing (almost) and my brand new Ben Folds cd playing it just couldn't get much better.

Had church last night which was an awesome and reasonably eventful service. Three things of note. Well for perhaps the first time ever I was just like "God you can do what you want", not "you can do what you want as long as I don't have to go up the front" or "God you can do what you want as long as I won't fall over, or have some public experience or be in any way forced from my comfort zone". Strange reservations for a pentecostal eh?!? (if we want to get into denominationism that is lol), but after all I am a pentecostal of Catholic roots and Baptist pathways so I guess I must inhabit some no-mans land eh?! Well anyways, so then I expected something big, I was just waiting for this huge experience AND THEN....wait for it....there wasn't one. And I was kind of gutted.

But things did happen, one thing was that this kid who came to church with us wanted to go up...and me to come with her. So I went up all worried that everyone would think it was me! WHY OH WHY do I worry about such things? what harm would it really do. Anyway so I went up and surprise surprise no lightening bolt again, not a thing. Then comes worship time (I know I know worship is not just music...40 days of purpose and all that so I guess I mean music time) and I know that my friend is very worried about something. And I can hear she is upset and I keep thinking 'would one of our friends go over and pray for her PLEASE?' But they don't hear a thing. And God is just like, you can't keep passing it all off to someone else, its YOU I want to pray for her.

He is constantly filling me with what I am meant to pray about and what I should say. And so as always happens after a certain amount of time, I just had to give in...so carrying with me the worry that she is not actually crying, and the worry that I have got it all wrong and the worry that it is all over - I finally did it. And as always it was great. We both got something out of it I think. Why do I even worry? I actually love to pray once I have pushed through the inital worries. It would be all very nice if God never made us leave our comfort zone, I would be all for it but the thing is its just not like that. Note to self: must step out of bubble more often.

p.s. the speaker at church was one of the funniest people I have ever heard - Ivan Won Kei thats right you did hear that correctly...wonky haha boy did I have a chuckle about that!

The End of a Dream

2005-05-07T21:50:00.000+12:00

I went to the supermarket at 1.30 this morning...don't ask, just believe it was necessary, and there was A LINE- a long line! would you believe it? Honestly! I don't think I am the only person in the world who has thought "I should try grocery shopping in the middle of the night...that'd show them - no lines for me". Well it is a farce! The lines are longer than ever. This little fantasy of mine is O>V>E>R! Oh the pain of a lost dream eh. It's social engineering at its worst! They only open two lines so they are longer than ever. (p.s. I know this is not strictly social engineering so don't give yourself R.S.I writing out the proper definition eh!). Its all about 'THE MAN' as they say...us little guys just don't stand a chance. So in short... learn from my mistake. Just because you go to countdown at 1.30 doesnt mean you won't be stuck there twenty minutes! One day we will rise up little people, rise up and share my dream.

Here is one of my favourite bits of song to finish off:

When I think of heaven
deliver me in a black-winged bird
I think of dying
Lay me down in a field of flame and heather
Surrender up my body into the burning heart of God
in the belly of a black winged bird

(The picture of surrendering my body into God's burning heart is such a cool image, I dunno, I just really like it people)

Hope

2005-05-05T14:02:00.000+12:00

I have found a new use for this blog...procrastination. If you keep writing then deleting then writing then deleting you can go for hours. The passage I have on this blog is so in my mind at the moment. Every night I just end up reading it over and over again. Link to it and have a read or look it up Isaiah 9:1-7. Its such a hopeful passage that you just want to read it out loud and all passionate...as long as you are alone...I don't wanna get anyone committed here! But seriously, imagine a day when we know there will NEVER be another war. When everyone knows the truth. And the bloodied uniforms will be destroyed, the tanks, the guns...what a picture of victory. He will break the chains that bind his people! -And the light filling a land where death casts its shadow. I am not yet done reading this!

Today is the kind of day to find a large duvet and watch videos all day. unfortunately things to do. Maybe this evening I will indulge! after all I have a date with The Biggest Loser' - by the way I mean the tv program, I am not THAT cruel.

2005-05-04T11:04:00.000+12:00

Well, I guess the point of this whole shin-dig is to write what is on your mind or in your life at some particular time. Right now, it is this...
Yesterday I ran into an old friend and she told me that a very close friend of mine from the past lost her sister earlier this year. I don't think this should have upset me, its been a few years since I saw my old best friend let alone her sister. But it did upset me. I am just wondering why? Is it the idea of someone dying 'before their time'? (whatever that means). Its hard to understand that some of us only make it to 25! Maybe a third of the life we expect. Then some crazy accident happens and nobody ever expects that. I think partly I feel bad that I haven't seen my old friend and she has gone through and is still going through all this without me even being aware of it. I guess really, even from a distance a tragedy is a tragedy. I can hardly believe that someone I presumed was alive yesterday morning, had actually moved on over a month ago. Its just a sad sad thing.

ButI got another shock when I looked up her name on the net. This girl had been far from christianity when I knew (well kind of knew) her but it looks like maybe God made himself known to her in her last year or two. God does amaze me. I don't think any of us really have to worry about the people we care about being far from him. God can get anyone - I think sometimes we probably don't even know he already has them.